This time last year…
Well the above picture showed up on my memories notification from Facebook. I swear it was like taking a swift kick to the gut, falling down and without chance of catching my breath taking another hard kick.
I remember very very clearly this time last year when I had started with what I called tightenings across my belly. The fear of what it could mean swept through me The 5 weeks previous to this I had been in and out of hospital so much that I was lucky if I got to spend 2 solid nights in my own bed. Most mothers to be have a grab bag ready for when their little one arrives but I had a grab bag constantly ready for when I had to go to triage at the local maternity hospital for the complications I was experiencing. TMI coming up but 5 days before my boys were born I passed tissue that could only be explained as looking like chicken skin. Even the nurse inside me took the boak looking st it. My poor wee dad took me up to hospital knowing very well what pathological delights I kept in my bag. After an internal I was told it was ok to go home. They would send the tissue away for biopsy but they thought it was a fibroid I had passed. Keep in mind 2 different consultants came in for a peek and were left flummoxed as to what this tissue could be. I think this worried me more than settled me.
So it’s Friday, 20/2/15 and I’m on my way home. The tightenings were still happening and felt more like a period cramp at this point. I wasn’t too concerned by this as every time I had an internal examination I felt this level of discomfort for a few hours or so after. However, by 1am on the 21/2/15 I was pretty much in denial that this could be the sign of early labour. By 8am that day my hubby wanted to take me to triage again. I was adamant I wasn’t going in again. I had only just got home. My family were exhausted from the visiting hours and I really missed my cats. I know that sounds stupid on the grand scale of things but I am literally the crazy cat lady and I love my furry boys so much. I knew when babies came along the cats wouldn’t be able to sleep in our room with us anymore as it just wouldn’t be safe. Still made me sad though. It wasn’t until maybe about 10am when my hubs pointed out to brace myself as I was just about to get another bad pain that I realised they were coming with some regularity as of course said pain started. After this I started timing between the tightenings – told you I was in denial so they weren’t contractions but simply tightenings. As my hubby had rightly said they were coming 10 mins apart. I still refused point blank to go back to hospital yet again. Over the course of the Saturday they spaced out then would go back to 10 mins. By the Sunday my husband was losing his mind and quite point blankly said I could go to hospital of my own accord or he was gonna pick me up out me over his shoulder and carry me to the hospital. I could tell by his eyes he was serious so I reluctantly gave in stating that if they keep me in again not only was I not speaking to him but we were done. Finished. Getting a divorce – ok so maybe I wasn’t my most rational at this point.
Of of course they kept me in, discovered I was 1 dilated and my cervix had shortened. They said I wasn’t in labour so not to get upset but as a precaution they were going to let the neonatal icu know what was happening and they immediately moved me into the labour room that had those 2 beasts in it that you see above. They even had Twin 1 and Twin 2 written on them. Eh thanks very much for freaking me the hell out at the very same time you are telling me to stay nice and calm. They started me on magnesium sulphate drip which for the first 15 mins during the bolus dose you literally feel like you are dying. It’s also a drip that is given over 24 hours so it’s no easy feat. Of course I received the steroid course again to strengthen babies lungs. I was first given this injection when I was only 23 weeks pregnant. I had a Russian doctor tell me there was no point to it as babies weren’t viable – please note I HATE that word and that the babies would simply die. From that moment on I not onlyhated the word viable but I hated that bitch. I realise for some of you this may sound extreme but at that time nicu was full so they were looking to transfer me to Dundee. I live in glasgow which is hundreds of miles away. Come to think of it 1 year on I still have a strong dislike if not hate for this woman but don’t worry the next day I reported her lack of bedside manner and I asked that she no longer took to do with any of my care.
So to say the picture above brings back loads of memories and not of the good kind is a massive understatement.
Scottish Twin Mamma